lost and found

On the bus ride home, I suddenly felt so lost. But I couldn’t be specific of why I felt what I felt.
於是我開始胡思亂想:「我覺得很迷失,是哪一種樣子的『lost』 呢?」
So I started wondering, “Hmm, I am feeling so lost, but what is this ‘lost’”?

是像 —— 「喔!我的球掉了!」那樣的「lost」嗎?我失去了某種具體的、物質的東西,我只要把它拿回來就可以。
I am lost, as in, “oh, I lost my ball!”? – I lost some physical stuff, and what I need to do is to get it back.

還是像 —— 「喔,我失去平衡了!」那樣的嗎?我失衡了,我需要重新找到自己的平衡。
Or, as in “oh, I lost my balance!”? Then I’ll need to regain it. Back to the “normal” life and the “normal” me

When my heart’s broken, I also feel lost. Like, something’s missing in there.
This is the kind of “lost” that I feel I’m incomplete and broken as a person.

有的時候,是回過頭來才明白當時為何感覺迷失 —— 因為我出外探險了;我在我的舒適圈外。

There’s another kind of lost that I often realize afterward, in reflection. I realize I was “lost” because I was out exploring. I went out of my comfort zone.
It could mean I was doing things I’ve never done before, or I was facing the emotions I’ve never faced before.


我失去了平衡,卻不只是回到「原本的平衡」—— 我變得更大了:以前所不能容納的,現在是我的一部分。

有時候,迷失 ⋯⋯ 找到,讓人變得更大。

It was uncomfortable. It was not as easy as retrieving a dropped ball. But I was neither broken nor incomplete.
I was out of balance, but I didn’t just go back to the original “balanced” me. I became bigger. The things that weren’t in my comfort zone, have become part of me.
Sometimes, you become bigger, when you have lost …. and found.

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