You said that you’re panic because you don’t know. It’s terrifying because…
“ I don’t know “ is like walking on a single-plank bridge blindfolded.
I do not know what I should have known. I do not know what I could have known. If only I could just find a way to take off the blindfold, I would have all the answers.
[ On Time ]
Time, a limitation for us,
is something we often want to skip, fast-forward
in order to be somewhere, to have something,
or to become someone.
But maybe, time is God’s stereo sound system,
retina screen, IMAX, or VR.
We have the above devices to indulge ourselves
in all kinds of sensory enjoyment.
And through time, God indulges a craving for feelings.
God wants to spend years loving someone, losing someone,
feeling excitements, love, and sadness.
God wants to spend years experiencing being proud,
lonely, anxious, and happy.
No two emotions are exactly the same.
Various causes and interpretations create differences.
Maybe God wants to explore all the possibilities and nuances
that could ever be,
just as we want to see movies with higher pixel density.
Time adds weight to feelings,
or feelings can only grow within time.
Time create a space for things to happen,
and for feelings to flow and be.
We wish time to stop so we can have something forever.
But God would probably wish for a flowing time
so that everything can come into existence.
[ 時間 ]
[ kiss with love ]
I might have kissed you with love, or
when feeling the love around us, I kissed you, or rather,
when kissing you, I felt the love flowing in between.
[ the part of me relating to you ]
but it’s still living as an organic being does.
it’s mysterious, and
not fully revealed even to myself.
I can never see the whole picture
but to feel how it is
through emotions coming out of it.
it has now become soft, sentimental,
easily melt into tears,
but not because of sorrow.
like a secret garden thriving in another dimension
that we may call “heart”.
[I will lose them soon but they will never get lost]
I will lose them soon
but they will never get lost
neither nor disappear
they have been,
and always will be there,
– most of our feelings.
on a bizarre chance, I might find them lining up in order,
as the clothes in a wardrobe.
vivid and clear,
as if I have just experienced them.
so unexpected and in a twinkling,
that it becomes a dream you don’t remember
– most of our feelings.
but a subtle and warm feeling come through me,
just whenever I think about you.
that I have never lost, despite however long it has been
since the last time it was explicitly shown
in this physical world
– the feeling that I know I will never lose